


Find Our Way Back

by magnusbicon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda?, M/M, Malec, Marriage Proposal, Self-Indulgent, the omamori charm is cool af, the world may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 01:10:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11818059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnusbicon/pseuds/magnusbicon
Summary: "Magnus-""Have you touched any of my potions recently, or gone near my-""Magnus.""What?" Magnus paused.Alec was staring at him, his eyes wide and his mouth slack. "Your pocket is glowing."orIn which Alec goes missing for a day and when he gets back he has no idea how the hell he did it.





	Find Our Way Back

**Author's Note:**

> I spent five hours writing this. Five. Hours. And it's still not as long as I wanted it to be but I need to post it before I go insane.
> 
> My brain is fried.
> 
> I hope you guys like it though!

Magnus Bane thought that he had everything figured out.

After Camille, he closed himself off to feeling anything that even came slightly close to love, pointedly ignoring the part of himself that thrived on passion. She had hurt him in ways he had never known it was possible to hurt, and he never intended to feel that way again. He moved on with his life, almost convincing himself that he was better off alone, that he would never be able to find someone worthwhile enough to take the risk again. As time passed he had almost lost himself to that mindset forever.

Enter Alec Lightwood.

If there was one thing Magnus had learned in the past year, it was that emotions had a way of sneaking up on even the most collected and guarded individuals. He had tried to fight it, he really had, but all it took was one wide, beautiful smile to blast through almost every wall Magnus had so carefully built. It wasn't an easy start, that's for sure. Between Magnus' internal mayhem and Alec's plain-as-day confusion, Magnus thought he had set his heart up to be shattered yet again.

But then something miraculous happened: Alec chose him. Publicly.

In all of his years, Magnus had never felt such a sudden onset of dedication, of hope for a happy future. Alexander Lightwood had reached into his chest, and instead of immediately crushing Magnus' heart in his fist, he filled it with something light and golden. He filled it with something that was meant to last.

Despite all of the chaos that was going on around them, they were happy. As High Warlock of Brooklyn and the Head of the New York Institute, they were finding a way to work together to bring peace between Shadowhunters and Downworlders, no matter how much time and effort it took. But Magnus' favorite part of their relationship was coming home to see his boyfriend already curled up on the couch, reading one of his many books that he had collected over the years. The amount of comfortability that had arisen between them in such a short amount of time still managed to shock him, but please him all the same.

Some days, however, they were too busy to have alone time, and today was definitely one of those days. Magnus had several clients to attend to, while Alec had been running rampant trying to track down a demon that had been on the loose all day, and would most likely not be back at the loft until late. Magnus was exhausted, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep when he knew that Alec was out there in danger, so he dropped down on the couch and summoned himself a drink, turning the tv on to distract himself from the worry. He knew that his fear was somewhat irrational, that Alec could take care of himself and had done so plenty of times in the past, but anxiety was not something that ever took much stock in logic.

Three drinks and four episodes of some random reality tv show later Magnus dozed off against his will, his head falling sideways onto the couch's armrest. Just before he succumbed to the pull of sleep, he snapped his fingers and a blanket fell over his body.

\----

A loud and insistent knock jarred Magnus awake, and he sat up quickly, his heart racing from the sudden noise. His shock quickly turned into anger, and he threw the blanket off of himself, marching over to the door as he planned what to say to whoever decided to wake him before the sun had even risen. He pulled open the door, ready to tell the intruder off, but before he had the chance he was pushed aside as multiple Shadowhunters entered his loft, their panicked voices overlapping into an uninterpretable mess of words. Magnus slammed the door, and they all went silent, staring at him with wide eyes. Before him stood Isabelle, Jace, and Clary, dressed in their gear as though this was a perfectly reasonable time to be awake.

"Okay, you,  _speak_ ," he said, pointing at Jace, who seemed to be the most spooked out of all of them. His face looked paler than Magnus had ever seen it before, which was frankly quite disturbing. Magnus couldn't remember a time where he had ever seen Jace truly scared of anything.

"Is Alec here?" Jace asked, and a shiver ran down Magnus' spine. His voice sounded haunted and empty, and it was devoid of any emotion other than dread.

"I don't know...he wasn't here before I fell asleep, and I was just woken up by all of you. Let me check." With that, Magnus walked past them and toward his bedroom, assuming that if he was anywhere in the loft, that would be where. He opened the door quickly, a nervous feeling starting to tingle in his throat when he saw that the bed was empty. He reached out with his magic to see if he could feel Alec's presence anywhere else in the loft, but could not find anything.

"No, he isn't here. He must still be tracking down that demon that was on the loose. I figured you'd know that better than I would," Magnus said, his heart rate speeding up as he took in the expressions of the Shadowhunters. "What's going on? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Magnus," Isabelle said, stepping forward a little bit. "He already tracked down the demon. He came back to the Institute to check in and then he said that he was heading to your place. That was two hours ago."

Fear was a strange thing. It always seemed to come out of nowhere, but when it did come, it hit full blast, like it never had any intention of allowing people to stay on their feet. It hit Magnus right then, and he was surprised he could continue breathing with the force.

"Can't you track him?" Magnus asked, trying to push back the icy feeling that was already accumulating in his chest.

"We've tried. It isn't working," Clary answered.

"Not even you? You're his parabatai. If anyone can track him it's you." Magnus' tone was much more accusing than he meant it to be, but he didn't take anything back.

"I can't feel anything, Magnus. It's like he just disappeared out of nowhere. One minute I could feel him, and he seemed fine, excited even, and the next he was gone. I can't track him, and I can't even tell if he's still..." Jace trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

 _I can't even tell if he's still alive._ That's what he was about to say.

"Let me try," Magnus said, his voice hoarse but determined as he summoned one of Alec's shirts and clutched it in his hands. He closed his eyes and focused, blocking out every noise other than that of his own heartbeat. He thought about his boyfriend, his blush-filled cheeks, his wide hazel eyes, his dark messy hair, his crooked smile. He thought about all of the things that made Alec, Alec.

Nothing. Magnus' jaw clenched, and he threw the shirt to the side, shaking his head.

"Is your rune still visible?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. It felt like every organ in his body was trying to escape, to find Alec and bring him back. Jace lifted his shirt, and the rune was still there, plain as day.

"If he was dead, it would have disappeared, correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"No buts. I watched it disappear when you died, and I watched him scream in pain. If he was dead you would know it. It must be something else." They all stood in silence for a few moments, thinking of other possibilities.

"Wait," Isabelle said suddenly, turning to Jace. "When you were on that ship with Valentine, Alec couldn't track you properly. Do you think maybe he's somewhere over water?"

Magnus didn't need any more prompting. He immediately moved into his study, sending out fire messages to Luke and Raphael, asking them to keep an eye out, and in the next minute he was creating a portal. The others stood behind him as it opened, and he turned around.

"Time to start looking."

\----

"We can't just give up," Clary said, her eyes shifting from person to person. "He's still out there somewhere."

"We're not giving up. We're resting. We won't be of any help to Alec if we pass out from exhaustion. It's been almost 24 hours." Magnus doesn't look at any of them as he answers, just flicking his wrist and opening the front door. "Go back to the Institute, get some sleep, and we can start back up when we've got some energy."

"What if he's hurt, or worse-"

"Please spare me your heroic act right now, Fray. We are all well aware that he is still missing and what that could mean, but what I said is still true," Magnus snapped, and no one else spoke. They all filed out of Magnus' loft, Isabelle laying a hand on his shoulder as she passed by.

The second they were gone Magnus closed the door and walked slowly over to the couch, sinking down into the cushions. He stared blankly at the wall for a while, his stomach sick with worry, before he reached into his pocket. Alec had given him the omamori charm as a way to emphasize the fact that he would always be there for him.

 _How ironic_.

Magnus stroked his thumb across the charm, gripping it tightly in his hand. "Please come back," he found himself whispering, not for the first time. It seemed that no matter what he did, he couldn't keep Alec from harm. "I don't know what else to do, where else to look. You're nowhere. You should be  _here_." And there Magnus was, talking to an inanimate object as though Alec could hear him. His exhaustion must have gotten the better of him. He snapped his fingers and a blanket fell over him once again. He couldn't sleep in their bed knowing that Alec wouldn't be beside him. He couldn't bare to wake up and see the empty space and feel the cold sheets.

He fell asleep with the omamori still clutched in his fist.

\----

When Alec woke up, it was to nothing. That was not an exaggeration. It was pitch black, and he couldn't feel anything around him. He felt like he was in some strange, silent horror movie, and the only thing that anchored him to reality was the pain in his head from where he was hit.

He hadn't seen it coming. One minute he was walking to the loft, a huge smile on his face as he thought about seeing his boyfriend and the plans he had in store, and the next he was unconscious. He had no idea who attacked him, or where they took him, but he seemed to be alone. He wasn't sure how long he had been there either, but from the rumble of his stomach and the dryness of his throat, he assumed it had been a while.

"Hello?" he called out, but the only sound he heard was the echo of his own voice. He felt around in his pockets, but it seemed as though whoever attacked him had taken his weapons and his stele. He let out a frustrated groan, and pushed himself up until he was standing. His head pounded, but he ignored it as best he could, straining his eyes in an attempt to see  _something_.

He walked forward slowly at first, hesitant, and then faster, until he was running as fast as he could. He called out occasionally, desperate for someone to hear him. He wasn't sure how long he ran until he couldn't anymore, too tired and hungry and thirsty to keep going. Wherever he was, it appeared to be endless. And that's when it hit him.

 _He was in limbo_.

He had heard about it countless times before, read up on it when he was younger, listened to Magnus tell stories about it. It was one of the rules that everyone in the Shadow World had ingrained in their heads the second they were old enough to understand. When using a portal, one must always have an idea of where they want to go before they step through. Alec had not been ready. He was attacked out of nowhere. He was still unconscious when he went through.

The realization made him feel as though he had ran into a wall, and he sunk to his knees, his breath entering and exiting his lungs harshly. He had no idea what to do, if there was anything he  _could_  do other than sit there and wait to die. His heart beat painfully in his chest as he understood what this meant. He would never see Isabelle, Jace, and Max again. He would never see  _Magnus_  again. He was gone from their world, his own world. Someone had tossed him there like he was nothing, and maybe he was nothing. But the people he loved were  _everything_  to him, and he didn't even get to say goodbye. They would never know just how much they meant to him. He sat there for a long while, letting the information sink in drip by drip, a numb sensation spreading inside of him.

He didn't notice at first, when it started, too wrapped up in his sorrow. But as he finally started to accept his fate, he felt it. His heart stirred restlessly, like it was being put under pressure by an unknown force. He sat completely still, panic quickly overtaking him.

_Was trapping him here not enough? Was whoever left him in the dark now planning on torturing him?_

The pressure increased, and then he realized that it was more like a  _pull_. It tugged on his body like an invisible rope that was wrapped around him, and he stood up. His brain screamed at him not to trust it, to resist, but the rest of him wanted to follow whatever force was behind it. The feeling reminded him of what he usually felt when he saw Magnus, how his pulse would speed up and he wouldn't be able to resist moving closer.

He took a few steps, following the feeling, and suddenly he was blinded not by the darkness, but by a bright, gold light. He stumbled, tripping over his own feet, and fell forward, just barely putting out his arms in time to avoid face-planting. He cursed, pushing himself up at the same time as he heard a strangled gasp come from in front of him.

"Alexander?"

The sound of Magnus' voice brought tears to Alec's eyes, and before he could take another breath he was hugging his boyfriend fiercely, burying his head into the space between Magnus' neck and shoulder. He took in every breath, every sound, every scent. He hadn't been deprived of all of it for more than a couple days, but it felt like an eternity.

"You're alive. You're okay." Magnus repeated the words over and over, and it took Alec a while to realize that he was shaking. He felt Magnus' magic wash over him, checking to see if there was anything wrong, and it calmed him down slowly as it spread warmth over his skin. They stayed like that for a long time, breathing each other in and letting themselves feel the relief that coursed through them both.

"What happened? Where were you?" Magnus asked softly, pulling back just enough to look at Alec's face. He pressed a hand to Alec's cheek, and he leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I don't know...I- I really don't know." He wanted to tell Magnus everything, but all of the exhaustion hit him at once, and it was a miracle that he was still on his feet. He was just now realizing that he was in the loft, their home.

"You need to rest. Come on," Magnus said, sliding a hand down to the small of his back and guiding him through the loft until they reached the bedroom. Alec undressed quickly as Magnus typed furiously on his phone. He was desperate to be in Magnus' arms again, desperate to know that he was actually back in the world they shared. He climbed into the silk sheets, immediately moving as close to his boyfriend as possible. Magnus draped an arm over his waist and smiled at him.

"Sleep, darling. I'm not going anywhere."

That was all the reassurance Alec needed to close his eyes. He felt himself being pulled further and further into unconsciousness, but then he remembered what he had planned before everything happened.

"Magnus," he mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep. "The inside pocket of my jacket."

He thought he heard Magnus speak again, but he was too far gone to answer as he was tugged into darkness once more.

\----

Magnus twirled a small box around and around in his hands as he waited for Alec to wake up, his heart still thundering. When Alec had mumbled those words out before he fell asleep Magnus assumed he was just overtired, and he fell asleep himself just moments later. But when he woke up, his curiosity got the better of him. He summoned the jacket with his magic and felt inside the pocket, and pulled out a velvet box. His heart had stopped the second the material brushed his fingers, and he  _knew_  exactly what was inside, but he couldn't bring himself to open it. The second Magnus registered what that meant, the doubts rushed in.

_What if Alec was delirious and had no idea what he was saying? What if he only said it because he was tired and scared? What if he had never meant to ask him in the first place?_

Those insecurities were thrown out the window the second Alec opened his eyes.

"I had a whole plan, you know." His voice was gravelly and quiet, but when Magnus met his eyes, they were clear. "I was going to wake up early and make us breakfast, and we were going to eat it on the balcony, and once we were finished I was going to get down on one knee and tell you how much I love you and that I want to be with you for the rest of my life and that kissing you that day in front of my family and the clave was the best decision I have ever made, and I was going to say 'Magnus Bane, will you do me the immense honor of being my husband?', and then we were going to turn our phones off and stay in bed for the rest of the day."

Magnus was speechless, frozen as the weight of all of his emotions rained down on him. He had never felt so completely whole with someone as he did with Alec, and he certainly never thought he would be able to get  _married_. No one had ever wanted to marry him before. The people of his past saw him as an endless and inescapable entity. Alec saw him for who he was: just Magnus.

"It's not too late," he managed to choke out after a few moments, and Alec's grin broadened, his teeth shining with the sunlight that filtered in through the window.

"I think I wanna switch the order around a little bit," Alec said, sitting up and gently taking the box from Magnus' fingers. He stood up from the bed and walked around to Magnus' side before lowering himself onto one knee. Magnus turned with him and watched with wide eyes.

"In the past 48 hours I have gone through so many emotions that I never want to experience again. I thought that I would never see you or the rest of my family again, and the second I felt your arms around me when I made it back here I knew that I needed to make the most of the time we have together. I'm not going to live forever, but I know without question that I want to spend every single second that I have left by your side. So, Magnus Bane, will you do me the immense honor of being my husband?"

 _I thought that I would never see you or the rest of my family again_.  _Family_.

Alec saw Magnus as family, and it was not until that moment that Magnus realized that he saw Alec as family as well. So why not make it official?

"Yes," Magnus breathed out, nodding as Alec opened the box to reveal the ring. The band was simple: silver with three diamonds. It was beautiful, and Magnus watched in awe as Alec slid it onto his finger. The second it was secure, Magnus pulled Alec up and kissed him with everything he had, hoping he could convey just what he was feeling.

"I love you so much," Alec whispered the second they pulled back, slightly breathless.

"I love you, too. Now how about we skip the making breakfast part and I'll conjure us up some belgian waffles." Magnus couldn't hold back his grin when he saw Alec's blinding smile, and leaned in to kiss him once more.

\----

Later in the day, as they laid side by side, Magnus finally worked up the courage to ask what he had been dying to know since he found out Alec had disappeared.

"So, what happened?" His voice was hesitant, but he didn't let himself stop. "Where were you?"

Alec sighed and intertwined their fingers, probably searching for comfort as he remembered. "I was walking here from the Institute and all of a sudden I got attacked. I didn't see who it was because they knocked me out. I woke up, and it was pitch black. I tried running and yelling..." he trailed off and Magnus turned to see that his eyes were distant as he relived it. Magnus stroked his thumb across Alec's, and it pulled him back to the present. "Eventually I gave up. I was so tired and hungry and I couldn't keep going. Then I realized where I was, and I thought- I thought that I would never see you again, and...it was horrible."

Magnus squeezed his hand as a lump formed in his throat. He knew that feeling better than anyone, and he would have given anything to prevent Alec from ever experiencing it. But just when he was going to let up on his questions, he realized that there was still plenty that was left unexplained.

"So how did you get out? Who portalled you back here?" None of it made sense. Once someone was in limbo, there was no way to find them. There was no escape.

"No one. I was sitting there trying to accept that I was stuck, and then I felt this pull inside of me, and I got up, started walking, and next thing I knew I was here, hugging you."

"But Alexander, that's impossible."

"I know, but I've been trying not to question it. I made it back."

There was an uneasy feeling in Magnus' gut, but he nodded, looking across at Alec with a small smile. "You're right. That's all that matters."

\----

A week later, Magnus was in the middle of reading through a complex spell when Alec burst through the door. He was out of breath, and he had one hand pressed over his heart like it would jump out of his chest if he lowered it. Magnus jumped up immediately, walking over to stand in front of Alec and putting his hands on his shoulders.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No, no," Alec breathed out, shaking his head. He took a couple seconds to catch his breath, then spoke again. "I was fighting a hoard of ravener demons and one almost got me. Izzy killed it before it had the chance, but I felt that pull again, the one that I felt when I was stuck, and it lead me here."

"Are you sure you weren't just scared?" Magnus asked, unsure of what to think.

Alec gave him a pointed look, and shook his head. "This isn't the first time I've had a close call with a demon, Magnus. You know that. This is different. It's not a bad feeling, it's just urgent, like I need to follow it or something bad will happen."

"And both times it brought you here. Hm, I wonder if you somehow bound yourself to the loft-"

"Magnus-"

"Have you touched any of my potions recently, or gone near my-"

" _Magnus_."

"What?" Magnus paused.

Alec was staring at him, his eyes wide and his mouth slack. "Your pocket is glowing."

Magnus followed Alec's line of sight down to his jacket, where sure enough, his pocket  _was_  glowing. He reached a hand inside slowly, and wrapped his hand around the object. He knew exactly what it was, he just had no idea why this was happening.

The omamori shined a beautiful gold color. It was not hot like Magnus expected it to be, just extremely bright. He held it in the palm of his hand, and they both stared at it silently for a few moments before Alec reached out slowly. He took Magnus' hand in both of his, closing them around the charm, and as soon as his skin made contact with it a shock went through both of them. They gasped simultaneously, and watched as they were both bathed in gold light from head to toe. Magnus could feel the moment the connection latched inside of both of them. He could feel the anchoring of his soul as it twisted with Alec's. It was not forceful or violent, but soft and  _right_.

Alec seemed to feel it as well, and his shocked expression slowly turned into a gentle grin that made Magnus' heart beat stronger than he had ever felt it beat before. The connection soared through their veins, becoming part of their blood as though it was meant to be there, and as it began to fade, both of them had a deep sense of completeness that they had never felt.

All at once the omamori stopped glowing, it's job finished, and the only light that covered them was the sun's rays. Alec lifted one of his hands and studied the charm, which seemed to just barely vibrate against Magnus' palm.

"All this time," Alec said softly. "We thought it was just an insignificant little gift."

"I never thought that," Magnus said, shaking his head. A wide smile adorned his face as he looked at Alec's confused expression.

"Alexander, you have no idea how happy this made me when you first gave it to me, and how happy it still makes me every time I look at it. You may have seen it as a cute souvenir when you bought it, but I saw it as a beginning, as proof that what we have isn't something that comes off a shelf. It was one of the first things that made me sure that this was right. Other than you kissing me at your wedding to someone else, of course."

Alec let out a soft laugh as Magnus winked at him, and lowered his other hand in favor of wrapping his arms around Magnus' waist. "I never knew it meant so much to you."

"It means the world to me because  _you_  mean the world to me, and I'm doubly grateful that I have it now because apparently it's going to warn me every time you get into trouble."

"So basically every time I step out of the loft?" Alec asked, a smirk on his face.

Magnus gave Alec a mock glare and shook his head before he leaned in to kiss his fiancé, and he finally understood that pull that Alec had described before, a restless energy that constantly made them gravitate together.

Words from long ago replayed in Magnus' head over and over until he was too distracted to think about anything other than Alec's lips.

_We always seem to find our way back to each other._

And find their way back to each other, they did.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna discuss anything or yell at/with me, visit me on tumblr as magnusbicon!


End file.
